Mary

“I'm now pushing myself to engage more. It helps that in my postgrad course we're in smaller groups, but I've also joined an astronomy group. It's still difficult and it doesn't always go how I want it to, but I'm learning to manage it.”

Mary · said date not stated · reported 2026-09-30

Mary describes her current efforts to engage more socially, including joining an astronomy group during her postgraduate course.

“I'd almost feel myself separating from my body. I forgot how to form words,”

Mary · said date not stated · reported 2026-09-30

Mary, now 25, describes the physical sensations of her social anxiety when talking to new people.

“I didn't join clubs and societies like others did,”

Mary · said date not stated · reported 2026-09-30

Mary, whose real name is not given, describes not joining clubs and societies during her university degree due to social anxiety.

“When I said I didn't want to join her in meeting some of her friends, citing my poor social skills, she said she'd never thought that about me and that I shouldn't undersell myself. I was overcome with emotion.”

Mary · said date not stated · reported 2026-09-30

Mary recounts a friend's supportive response when she expressed reluctance to meet new people.

“When I first got there I went to one society, but everybody was talking to each other and I had a sudden fear come over me. I felt I wouldn't fit in and I went home.”

Mary · said date not stated · reported 2026-09-30

Mary describes attending one society meeting at university but leaving due to a sudden fear of not fitting in.

“After social situations I was often left with the sense that I'd done something awful. I had an all-consuming feel of shame. I kept thinking there was something fundamentally flawed in me.”

Mary · said date not stated · reported 2026-09-30

Mary describes feelings of shame and self-doubt that lingered after social situations.

“I just thought nobody would want to get to know me. I didn't really make a single friend during my whole degree.”

Mary · said date not stated · reported 2026-09-30

Mary recalls feeling that nobody would want to get to know her and not making a single friend during her degree.

“I used to play things over constantly in my mind. What I've learnt is that dealing with social anxiety is a gradual process. The therapy really helped me, but so did something a friend said to me a couple of years ago.”

Mary · said date not stated · reported 2026-09-30

Mary reflects on how therapy and a friend's words helped her gradually manage her social anxiety.